Blue

The last thing you need when you’re going through hell is a bunch of Christian platitudes. Whether or not it’s sincere, true, well-meaning…it just doesn’t help.

Don’t need you to say you told me so, that I asked for whatever, that my choices brought me to that place…in other words, I don’t need you to play judge and jury. Let those without sin throw the first stone…and all that.

Don’t need you to tell me you would never do this or that. That you WOULD do this or that. That you would never put up with this or that. DO NOT NEED TO BE COMPARED. PERIOD.

If it’s a problem with my kids, believe me, I DO NOT WANT OR NEED YOU TO CRITICIZE THEM TO SHOW ME SUPPORT.

I might be down because of a physical illness. A chemical imbalance.  It’s not “all in my head.” It’s just as real as diabetes or cancer and not any more my fault than if I had those diseases. Or it might be circumstances breaking me. It might be consequences of something I’ve done.

I can’t even begin to tell you the guilt that already comes with depression. I don’t need for anyone to tell me I’m wrong. I know I make mistakes. NEXT? I don’t need for you to tell me just to go to God. I have. NEXT? I don’t need for you to tell me the bible says this or this or this. I know it.

My heart is broken NOW. So what may or may not happen someday someway somehow just isn’t doing it for me.  Whether God will bring healing or relief on Earth or in heaven, right NOW, I’m hurting.

What I need? Prayer. I am having trouble believing in prayer right now, so will you hold me up? Will you please intercede for a sister whose faith is ailing?

A hug. Silence. Space. Company. A shoulder to cry on. A listening ear. Someone to clean my house. Depression makes a person TIRED.  Someone who at least won’t judge the laundry piled up by the washing machine or the dishes in the sink. Someone who won’t tell me to “pull myself up by the boot straps.”  ugh. A greeting card. A phone call. Just to know you care. Someone to know that when I’m going through this, it might take time. I’m not lazy. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m grieving/sad/lonely/struggling…  Chocolate. Lots of it. A hot cup of coffee from McDonald’s or wherever. (I once had a friend who would show up unexpectedly with coffee, and you wouldn’t believe how it touched me. Someone was thinking of me and wanted to do something nice! And she didn’t even know I was down).

Emotional support. Spiritual support. PRACTICAL help.  Understanding. If I want to know a bible verse, I’ll let you know. If I want your advice, I’ll let you know. Image

’nuff said.

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