Vanishing Eyebrows. HUH?

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Do you see eyebrows there? They’re almost invisible.
HA HA HA

  eyebrowWonderful!

  I’ve discovered a great use for the age spots and lines that have formed in my face: I use them as landmarks when applying eyebrow pencil. Why, you ask, do I not just use my natural eyebrows to guide me? Because…wait, get some coffee, take a seat, this is a long story. WELL, I don’t give a pluck. It’s just too painful for me. Such a wimp, huh? So I buy these little eyebrow shavers to shape, arch, and remove unwanted hair. Only when I moved into my new house and things were lost in boxes somewhere, I decided to try a regular sized razor. I can’t see without my bifocals, even in my magnifying mirror, so…ugh, I lopped off one whole eyebrow and shaved the other one so they’d grow in together and match. The stupid thing is, I did the SAME thing when I was 17.

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Me at 17. NO EYEBROWS AT ALL! Drawn on.

Do I ever learn? And it’s been a real trial and error thing trying to get both my eyebrows drawn in right with a pencil. The color is wrong. Back to the store. It’s not waterproof. When it rains or I go to the pool, my eyebrows vanish. Back to the store. One eyebrow is up higher than the other, which I discover in the car’s mirror after I’ve already left the house. Find a parking lot and duck down in my seat. Grab compact mirror and wipe off renegade eyebrow. Reapply. Image

Not my best eyebrow day. Didn’t even know it till I saw this picture. ugh

They’re arched too high and I look surprised all day! They’re too straight and I look mad. Funny as it is, it’s also pretty embarrassing and I know people notice! And this is another reason why I hope my son doesn’t get famous too soon or why I could never have a bestseller and do the whole talk show thing to promote it. My eyebrows. I see the way people’s eyes roam from the center of my face when I’m talking and take the amusing trip to my forehead, then get stuck there. It’s sort of like seeing someone with a big fat zit in the middle of their heads. Try as you might not to make the person uncomfortable by staring, your eyes betray you. You’re a deer caught in the headlights. Man, that is one humungous zit! Why doesn’t she do something about that thing? Yeah. So are the ole eyebrows. At least since I’ve discovered the landmarks, I’m actually starting to grow real hair in the path I’ve designed. Thank you, crevices, freckles and age spots.

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One thought on “Vanishing Eyebrows. HUH?

  1. A friend of mine plucked out all her eyebrows when she was much younger and the hairs wouldn’t grow back so she had her eyebrows tattooed and I never knew until I felt them. Ralph xox 😀

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