Paging Dan Hollister

kynn x speech

Seriously, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left Walmart or a restaurant in tears.  So frustrated that I cannot get “control” of this four-year-old melting down because she’s tired, she wants to run free, she wants candy…  Or the ten-year-old because his head is as hard as rock.  “How many times do I have to tell you…”    Blank stare in response.

Like today after being in the waiting area with Xavier while Kynnadi did speech therapy… Actually, no. He was pretty good. There was a hyperactive kid running around, jumping, talking three hundred miles an hour, but, this time, it wasn’t X.   Ok…so after therapy, Kynn comes out coughing, nose running, still smiling because kids are always good for everyone but the BOSS of them. It was cool till we got to the car, then she unleashed a fury unseen by us mere mortals until today.   For two blocks she chanted, “I want candy, I want candy, I want candy…”  I threatened, I bribed, I tried to change the subject, I made promises, I yelled at God, I pleaded with God, I felt my ulcer flaring up…   “I want candy, I want candy…”

We got home.  She yelled at Xavier. She told him to shut up! I said, “Kynnadi, you’re not being very nice today.”

At which point she shuddered, sobbed, and fell completely apart. Dabbing her red nose with a tissue, she said,  “I not feel well!”   Oh…yeah. I get it.  As a person who is chronically ill, I should know better. I see how grumpy, grouchy, and mean I can get when the pain wears me down.

So I offered her a place on the sofa, gave her a cool drink, covered her with her blankie, and kissed her on the forehead.   She’s so worth all the stress and tears and sideways glances from passersby.

And, there’s always the fact that, most of the time, these little ones keep me laughing.  They keep me young.

Here, let me give you one example from each child so you can get a little chuckle, too. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.

I saw a jet streaking across the sky. “There goes Ironman!” I said.
Xavier said, “Remember when I used to think that? ”
“Yeah.” (giggle giggle)
“Now I know it’s a spaceship!”
Glad we cleared that up.

At the pool, we heard an announcement over the speakers. “Dan Hollister to the front desk, please.”
Kynnadi wrinkled her nose and said, “That me. It the name I use when I a monkey.” giggle

But this morning when I said, “Paging Dan Hollister!”  She glared and snapped at me, “No! I not a monkey today! I not happy!”  Mama said there’d be days like this.


The Language of a Princess

kynn cute faceKynnadi, now four, is trying so hard to pronounce words correctly. One of the most difficult sounds for her to get is the letter F. So when she came to tell me that Obbie (the name she’s given my grandson, Xavier), burped in her “tace,” I corrected her. I exaggerated my top teeth going out to my bottom lip and said emphatically, “Face.”
So, she got her teeth to meet her lip and said, so proudly, “Fobbie furp fin fy face!”


We weren’t on the waiting list for speech therapy long, just enough to make me sweat about enrolling her in preschool for fall. Kids can be cruel.  Even if they aren’t, and just keep responding with, “Huh?!” when Kynnadi speaks, it embarrasses and frustrates her something awful.  She finally just shrugs, face fallen, and looks to me to interpret.

With one session under our belts, I feel confident that we’re heading in the right direction.  She strutted out afterward teeling tine. I mean, Fhe frutted fout fafterward feeling fine.

Don’t Grow Up Too Fast

kynn carousel

     She’s getting too big for her blankies. Her ankles and sweet chubby feet hang out the bottom and she keeps struggling to cover her whole self for a nap. ugh. She’s teaching herself to swim. Preschool is upon us come fall.
Every day she insists, “I a big gull.” Is she?! She looks so little to me. Why don’t these kids listen when you tell them, “Don’t grow up too fast.” sigh

The Lighter Side of Aging

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I love being old. No, really.

I’ve never been more comfortable in my skin or less afraid to do things! Well, except eating things that are weird to me. (bugs, slugs, squid. You can have that stuff!)

I’m experienced in so many ways. Less judgemental. more compassionate, determined to live my dreams and help others to achieve theirs. (my dreams have changed many times over the years. Now they’re way more simple and doable).

I’m able to use my sense of humor without fear of embarrassment. My embarrassment, anyhow. My kids are horrified. But, hey, that’s just part of the fun.

By now, I know who my friends are, and I make news ones more easily.

I get the meaning of life. I’m not trying to figure out who I am; I’m trying to give who I am over to whomever God wants me to be, and all he has planned.

I am not afraid to go to a movie or eat at a restaurant alone. I know how to entertain myself. I can be really good company.
I have always had my own sense of style, but now if I want to just be comfortable, I will. I do NOT worry about how others see me. Not much, anyway. Not enough to stop me from wearing baggy sweat pants to the store. Can I tell you??? The sky has never fallen because of it. Or due to my lack of makeup.

I go to the pool with my big belly and cellulite and don’t think a thing of it. I jump in and splash around and just have FUN. I missed so many years of that due to self-consciousness. Bummer. What a waste of time.

There are moments when old-age brain startles me, but, for the most part, it has been the source of high hilarity. Somehow I’ve joined this club with my peers that younger folks can’t get into till they start finding their keys in the freezer, misplace the potatoes they just chopped for soup, or drive around the block a couple times, trying to remember where they were going and why. Or walk up the steps to get the dirty laundry, but, instead, make the bed, wash the windows, empty the trash cans…and leave the laundry alone, only to have to make another trip (or two, or three…) to gather it later.

Drawing this close to the end of Earthly life certainly holds moments of sadness and fear of leaving loved ones behind for a bit. But it always spurs you on to a much deeper, more satisfying life. You cherish all the small moments and huge affairs just that much more.